Thanks for the thoughtful responses...
Myzen, you have hit the nail on the head regarding this fella. He had related how women from his past acted out in "anxious" ways, and when I questioned him, he was guarded and/or nonresponsive, except in a clinical way. At one point, out of frustration, I had sent him an article, via email, about Emotional Intelligence, and he even characterized himself as a "colf fish."
One of the reasons I became so enamoured is that he started out very attentive, emailing and calling daily, but that soon subsided. I kept thinking it was something I had said or done, or even my age, which turned him off. I kept hoping to resurrect the first impressions and responses from him, but he became more and more distant. Emotionally unavailable, commitment phobic come to mind, but I still have trouble with self-blame. I truly cared for him, and the physical attraction as well as the emotional and intellectual were very rare for me. I know, cause I've dated several fellas who didn't do a thing for me and to whom I had to talk myself into looking past my feelings of disgust or revulsion. Not so with this man, but maybe that is because he was such an enigma, and that was the "hook." So....I know I have to learn from this, and move on. I certainly don't want to pursue anyone who doesn't want me! Nor do I want to be in a relationship where I am in a constant state of uncertainty and anxiety...No way! I know, I KNOW!, that in a healthy relationship, there should be none of that...NONE!!!l
Incidentally, he sought ME out when I tentatively placed my profile on Yahoo, not even joining, but stating that I could be reached thru my art sales on Ebay, and that is how he contacted me. I removed my profile shortly thereafter. I have no desire to search thru that venue again....too many jerks!
Seeking