Quote:
Originally Posted by Pomegranate
You both have to respect each other's feelings. That's how healing will start. My daughter has not spoken to me in years. I am ready and waiting for her if it ever happens. Likewise my mother keeps trying to have a closer relationship with me than I am comfortable with. I can't force my feelings and I can't accept the disrespect I feel from her. It's unfortunate we are all not in the same forgiving place at the same time but that is just reality.
You are ready NOW to try and heal your relationship with your sister. If you are sincere I think you will find that you remain ready whenever she is. If she becomes ready and is sincere, she will understand and respect your feelings if you aren't able to jump into therapy right at that moment.
Try taking this problem one day at a time. Don't project how you will or won't be feeling in the future. How can you know? Just keep your arms and mind open, when/if she comes to you, just be honest about where you are at, at that time. Maybe she won't be ready until next summer, then that will work out well for both of you, right?
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Pome I know that it's so painful for you about your daughter.
There was a time in my life that I did not speak to my dad for 10 years. I was very anger with him. I've got to say that I always thought about him. So one Christmas I decided to put my anger aside and send him a Christmas card with my phone # in it, and he called me. We started a relationship again, but I did let him know about my anger, and he told me that he was sorry. Here's another story for you. My bf's mom hasn't had a relationship with her daughter since my bf's brother passed. Everytime I see one of them they always ask about the other one. I always ask each of them if they would like the other one's phone #, and they both tell me no. I really think it's because one is afraid to approach the other one. Your daughter might not be on speaking terms, but I know that she thinks about you. I also think that she will come back into your life. One thing that I have learned from being a mother myself is that kids think that parents sould be perfect. They forget that we are human beings just like they are.
