Deli, I didn't mean that T's think that or encourage that. It's people who are not T's that I have heard that from (if they've identified something as a trigger, they won't ever grapple with it--hence "insurmountable"). I get that drift anyway.

T and I have talked about triggers in relationships. Sometimes couples who have lived together for a while can come to be triggered all the time by each other and get kind of locked into this stuck-for-good-in-triggerland way of being. T said when couples get like this it's very hard for them to get unstuck without professional help. That's why learning what you are triggered by is so important, and learning how to talk to the other person about it is equally so. Not that I do any of these things well...