Thanks Heidu, you are very kind. And, I know that I am human. I know we all make mistkes, even big ones. And, I also know that we should forgive one another for the mistakes we have made.

I guess where it breaks down for me a bit is that I realize that my exgirlfriend will most likely never forgive me for my actions. It is so frustrating to me because I know that when I am healthy I have a lot to give as you have all seen on here. As much as I am feeling better it is still hurtful to realize that I ahve lost her.