My doc upped the dosage of lamictal from 200mg to 300 a few weeks ago. I've tolerated it well, but I've been having a lot more anxiety lately. I have to take xanax more and more now.

Not sure if it's the increase in lamictal or what. Before I increased the dosage I was having a bit of increased anxiety. I notice that anytime I drink alcohol (more than a couple drinks, not even drunk) I get pretty bad anxiety the next day...even next couple days. I hate it.

Also seeming a bit more "up" than usual...maybe medication induced mania or hypomania coming on???

It could be work too, I tend to get triggered somehow when I get cool projects to work on. I had a cool project and I thought it would take me a few days to get a first iteration out, but it took me like 3 hours. Now I'm getting a little antsy (sp)? and I want to do a whole bunch of stuff. I spent the last few hours writing a twitter timeline xml parser in C and because string manipulation in C (not C++) is so painful, I switched to Java and finished it in about 10 minutes. So now I'm tweeting and checking twitter from the command line. (which to me is cool, even though highly geeky.) Don't worry if you don't know what it means. The point is that it's one of those things that you wouldn't do normally unless you were feeling "up" to it and just wanted to do things because you really want to do stuff and it gets in your head and you absolutely "have" to do it.

I also contacted some people yesterday with the idea to start a band that features 3 distinct styles of music being played at the same time. Think classic rock/hard rock guitar riffs mixed with soft ballad piano/keys, and jazz/fusion type drum beats that don't fit the rest of the song whatsoever (but still played at the correct tempo). The end result would be some kind of chaotic sounding prog rock, but it would be nerdy and fun... I don't know if the other guys are into it. They said they are and I think it will be fun. I dunno though...this little upswing I'm on will probably end soon and then I Won't care anymore and just scrap it...like so many things.

Haven't been sleeping very well the last few days, but I'm not tired either...

Anway, I haven't felt this way in a long time, probably a few years. I kinda like having the increased "brain activity", but at the same time I'm scared of what will happen next. That's probably why the increased anxiety.

I wish I could meditate or something and just accept the fact that I have an upbeat mood going and then just embrace it, and not feel so worried about it ending or something going wrong.

Just wanted to get it out...thanks for listening...(reading == listening???)