Been awhile since I've posted here. Lot has happened. The ex shows up at my door... unemployed, broke, wanting a place to stay, offering "closure."

Gave him a week, he hung around beyond that.

Gave him $50 and told him buy gas and go somewhere. It would have given him a meal or two and enough gas to get to his folks.

He ended up lying to me and using me. I told him while he was there "no bimbo contact." Sorry... but the woman he was involved with is a mess. Drug felon, internet *****, and still married. I didn't want that woman's influence anywhere around me, and if he wanted closure he had to understand what his relationship to this woman did to destroy our relationship.

I kicked him out Sunday. It was ugly and mean and nasty.

He calls me this morning, "I'm sorry for the other night."

Told him apology accepted and thank you. Asked him to call our girls.

I did not even go to a place in that convo that would indicate to him I would help him again. Why? Because he told me he was "happy." He got to make decisions "for himself now."

He just hung around my place, surfing the internet, eating, and watching TV. Showed more attention and concern for a kitten we have than for me or the kids.

Why in the world did he call? Why do I find it hard to keep myself from getting roped into his drama? This man needs help. I don't know if I have it in me any longer. 48 hours after I kicked him out, I'm still tired and annoyed and wasted. I feel NOTHING...

It's holding me back. I can't exactly explain to anyone I'm dating that "hey, my ex is sleeping on my couch, mooching off of me, and using me... I feel sorry for the bum even after all he's done to me... cheated, lied, possibly involved in drugs." When he was there, I'd come home and get irritated because he would display the same behaviors that got us divorced to begin with... no interest in anyone or anything around him except the computer and TV. No concern for anyone around him. I couldn't help but to slip back into the same negative cycles myself... ignore it until it got to me, try to involve him with what was going on around him, being his "mommy" (which is what I think he wants... doesn't want a wife or a partner), acting in suspicious ways (not saying what he was doing, never direectly answering a question... always having a "hedge" in his response that would give him a way out.)

He got kicked out because I decided over the weekend to go away... I wanted away from that kind of behavior again. In essence, I let him remove me from my own home. I came home Sunday and noticed a cell phone number on my caller ID that belonged to his drug felon girl friend. I told him pack up and leave. He denied the number belonged to her, that he was seeing her while living with me... I didn't buy it. His argument then became "I leave when this is FINISHED." I insisted, this IS FINISHED.

He wanted to control to get what he needed... a computer, food, shelter. I didn't care at that point if he slept under a bridge.

What is going on here? This guy refused to give up that relationship with that woman. He has shown addictive behaviors before. He refused counseling or therapy (I did offer to pay for a session or two for him if he wanted to stay beyond a week.)

I simply do not know what to do from here... I don't want to live in limbo, and I don't want to feel guilty if anything happens to him or if he really and truly wants to fix himself. And I can't be his mommy... and he is going to test me again if I even consider letting him back.