You will never see his T, so you will have no occasion to tell him about any CSA. As for your H, if you don't want to watch porn with him, you don't have to justify it. You certainly don't need to tell him about CSA in order to convince him you don't want to see porn. If he asks you why you don't like to watch porn, just say, "it does nothing for me", or "it doesn't turn me on," or "it's degrading to women", or whatever you may believe about it. There is no need to get into personal stuff. You don't like to watch it--end of story. If need be, give him a scholarly article on the topic of women and porn.

Yeah, it's scary. No need to stress yourself out and think about it now. There may come a time when you are ready. But there may not, and that's OK too. I had huge anxiety anytime my T even mentioned ANY couple he had worked with during one of our sessions. I would immediately get freaked out, thinking, does he want me to do couples therapy with him? I an NEVER doing that! Eventually I did though, when I was more ready. It wasn't easy, and in retrospect, I wish we had done it many many years ago (I had asked my H many years earlier and he had declined), before the relationship was unsalvageable. I was such a wimp that I needed my T to be there when I told my H I wanted a divorce. I needed that support. And once we were both in the room with T, he was just so skilled at working with us, and we could both see that. It was a relief to turn things over to a professional.

It sounds like you have a big backlog of things to deal with and are ready to really make progress now. I think at these times it can be really helpful to increase the frequency of therapy to allow oneself to move more quickly. Are you still going to therapy once every two weeks? Could you go weekly until you've dealt with a lot of the issues in your backlog? Anything that is seriously impairing your home life is more than just noise and is important to bring to therapy. These things are not "stupid stuff."