I appreciate this initial topic offered for our discussion. Gives me a chance to ponder more deeply my own experience. These questions to my mind have a maturity to them.

How many friends left in wake? My tendency when triggered is to withdraw. I've cut off friendships, some did need to end, some maybe did not.

Has it caused job loss? PTSD has been part of the mix for me, of why I've lost jobs, but not all of it. In most cases I myself simply had to quit.

Has a relationship ended over the PTSD outbursts? In one love relationship I was more volatile. More dramatic than usual. Yet it was also an emotionally abusive relationship, I found out near the end that my partner was also secretly having affairs.

What do you do to make amends? Do you even try to make amends? Part of making amends for me is to talk with the person involved, examine mutual stresses that may have affected us both, and to get the help I need. For instance, get back into therapy, get back to health care folks to see if some different meds will help. I don't get angry with anyone for bringing up what I've done.

I've had friends who do the lash out then the sorry-sorry-sorry routine, and who never seem to break out of this cycle. They refuse to try new strategies and pretty much believe that everything is the fault of everyone else. That is a tough one. I've ended up having to leave friendships when it becomes too exhausting and abusive for me to stay in them. And I use this as an example of how not to be. I may never know what truly goes on for them, my priority isn't to judge them unduly but first and foremost to take good care of myself.

My son is 25 years old now, he has definitely seen me go through very triggered times. I've never lashed out at him. I've made sure he knows that he is never responsible for my triggered behavior. I've made sure that he knows that I am working hard to help myself, as an adult, with therapists etc. And he has seen such improvement. He knows I am currently focused on inspiring happiness and resilience in my life.

Sarah