Hi rockie, welcome to PC

I know how you feel ... I often feel the same way. I have lots of amazing friends who I love very much, but I often feel like I'm just an observer in their lives and that I'm not really doing anything with my own. But a lot of those feelings can stem from depression, which is a really convincing liar. Maybe it would be a good idea to do something different -- take up a hobby, join a group or club, take a class ... something to make you feel like you're being more productive or adventurous with your time. It might help dispell some of those feelings that you're just an observer in your own life.

I'm glad you posted. Keep us posted on how you're doing.