Jay, I am sending you all the positive thoughts and strength that I have!!! I have been where you are before and it's a scary place. The important think to remember is that even if you think about it and have the means to do it...You haven't done it. Sometimes we just have to tell ourselves that we will hold on for one more hour, one more day, one more week. You have become very important to me and I care about you. Sweetie, If I could find the right words to take away your pain I would. Susan