You're PATHETIC.
You are DISGUSTING.
You are WEAK.
You're not ill. You're just weak. Feeble. Lifes hard, everybody knows that. SO GET ON WITH IT. WHY CANT YOU GET ON WITH IT?
You are not sick.
You dont deserve to be feeling like this.
You are dispickable for feeling like this.
You are a horrible person. Merely a spoilt little girl.
You dont care? You remember the last time you cared? The last time that you didnt feel empty?
You remember happiness?
You might be experiencing it right now.
Youre making a big deal out of nothing.
Everyone feels like this.
Get over it.

Or theres a way out.
You have enough money to go to the chemists and buy enough neurofen to knock you out.
You know that theres one razor upstairs, in his washbag.
Imagine if you used it.
Imagine if you took those pills.
You can almost feel the relief already, cant you?
You arent sick.
Youre just weak.
You dont deserve it. You dont deserve anything. You are a disgusting human being.
Remember when you used to care?
You took hours getting ready.
Now look at you. Hair growing everywhere, you look homeless. You look male. You look disgusting. You havent brushed your teeth, washed your hair, showered, even put deoderant on or gotten dressed.
You are disgusting.
You feel tired? Everyone feels tired. EVERYONE. YOU ARE JUST WEAK
WEAK WEAK WEAK WEAK WEAK.

But its hard, i dont want to do this, i cant do this much more, im sorry, im so sorry, im ashamed, i know its bad, i know im worthless. I just want to be on my own. I am sick. And people dont want me to take that way out.
Just give me some relief,
Let me sleep.
And sleep without nightmares or anxiety.
Let it all end.

YOU ARE HOLDING THEM BACK. COWARD. YOU DONT DESERVE LIFE, YOU DESERVE NOTHING. PEOPLE OUT THERE HAVE WORSE PROBLEMS. YOU THINK THEY DONT GO TO SCHOOL ANYMORE? YOU THINK THEY CANT COPE? OF COURSE THEY CAN. AND YOU KNOW WHY.
BECAUSE YOURE WEAK.

I miss caring.
I miss feeling like im not dead.
I miss... me.