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You know what I see?

I see someone who is very, very sick. Someone who is very, very tired. Someone who is suffering more than any human being should EVER have to suffer, and someone who is trying as hard as she can to struggle out of the darkness. I see someone overwhelmed by her illness. I see someone who can't see herself clearly any longer. I see someone who is looking for relief -- any kind of relief -- from a very cruel condition. I see someone tortured by her own mind, and who has become lost in the haze of depression. I see someone who is more than sad, more than depressed, more than exhausted, who suffers more than most and whose suffering is based on the lie that she shouldn't be suffering at all.

Tell me this: if someone else had posted what you just did, would you think they were weak? Would you think that they just weren't trying hard enough, that they had nothing to complain about? Give your words a stranger's face, and then ask yourself whether you would be as quick to put those judgements on anyone else. I don't think you would, and there's your proof that you really are depressed. If you take a step back from it, I know that you -- the real you, buried under the depression -- can see how sick you really are, and how much help you really need, and how STRONG you're being every second that you struggle onwards.

I'm so sorry you're in so much pain right now. You're not alone in this, and it may seem impossible right now, but you will make it out of this one day.