Here we find ourselves, unable to drink safely, and unable to stop entirly. Every one of us has found ourselves in that most unhappy situation.

We drink because we no longer desired or could tolerate naked reality.

A few drinks takes all those feelings of inadequately and failure away. And after enough times going to that well of false peace of mind, we honestly believe that we must drink to preserve our sanity.

There is a hole in the middle of our guts that alcohol fills poorly, but it does fill it. It’s like alcohol is a power greater than ourselves. It does for us what we could not do for ourselves. It changes this world from a drab, unloving, life sentence into a techocolor wonderland. The world didn’t change, everybody is still the same, it just works on out outlook.

But the problem is that alcohol isn’t a loving God.

We have to stop, we can’t stay drunk forever. And when we stop drinking, things don’t get better, they get real bad real fast. That hole in our guts lets the wind blow through, and it hurts. In fact it feels so bad that most true alcoholics never find a solution for that empty feeling when we don’t have alcohol in our system. Most alcoholics die wet. That is what we mean by powerlessness, a pitiful and incompressible demoralization.

Let me disagree with Down on this one, There is a simple solution to this problem. And it works. There are hundreds of thousands, millions of drunks just like you that have found it.

We need to fill that hole with something.
This program Alcoholics Anonymous is the last house on the block. When all else has failed, this simple spiritual solution will fill that hole. It works.

Irks, you didn’t mention if you had and used a sponsor in those last 12 years around the program. It might be a good idea.

On the road to the good stuff,
Richard S.