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I would like to say a few things that I’m sure you already know, but they’re important. First, you CANNOT force anyone else into seeking help. Nor can you use this concern as a reason to remain in contact with her. Second, truth is subjective. While you may feel that you are being perfectly honest, this is your perspective. Third, this woman is NOT your problem. She’s made it perfectly clear that she’s finished with this relationship. I’ve read every word you posted and other than an instance or two where she showed what you viewed as curiosity, you’ve been the one beating the dead horse. That would make me very uncomfortable too. I disagree with your therapist to a degree about the facial expression thing. I’ve done this myself with men and it was because I don’t want them to think I’m smiling at them and have them believe there’s a reason to talk to me. Fourth, be VERY careful about how much of this behavior you’re exhibiting at work. You’re working for the government and I hope you’re not using their computers for personal email. This has harassment suit written all over it.
Nani had some excellent advice, get a life. Your future does not include this woman. Let’s assume by some twist of fate this woman changes her mind and seeks a relationship with you. Are you really oblivious to her MO? Do you not see her pattern and the game she plays to make herself feel good about herself? No healthy relationship can develop from this.
Do yourself a favor and work on your own issues. Ask your therapist if she really thinks two people can live in a house and keep their kids in the dark about how bad their relationship is.
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I've been married for 24 years and have four wonderful children.
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