(((chaotic)))

I think you are being WAY too hard on yourself.

'Should' is a word of judgement. Maybe it would be a good idea to let T know that the issues with H and negative feelings are impacting you, but why discount the desire to talk of the positive things?

Why are YOU denying yourself what you want? A connected session with T, talking about positive developments IS therapeutic, and is nothing to be ashamed of. If you were talking about wanting to go on a drinking binge instead of talking with T, ok I would be concerned. But to want to share positive things with T is not at all an area to beat yourself up over.

I personally seem to alternate topics with T. Sometimes I just need a session that is all about supporting the positive changes inside of me. I always tell T I am embarrassed to share these things, but I am slowly realizing that re-enforcing the positive aspects of myself is just as important to my growth as weeding out the patterns that do not serve me.

Often times after those positive-focused sessions I find I have new strength inside, and I'm able to deal with the challenging aspects of life with more ease. Building up who you are inside IS valuable.

Go for the extra session, give yourself the gift of support. Talk to T about your conflicting desires of feeling like you 'should' only talk about the negative stuff and a yet there is a desire inside to explore your positive growth.

Be forgiving of yourself. It is not wrong or bad or even dangerous to desire support for positive growth. In fact, not letting H distract your own work with T, could be a great step.