Yep, yep, yep. I so agree. Take care of what is primary here = Yourself and your kids.

Begin to make suttle preparations ensuring the security for your primary. Such as, setting up a seperate savings account solely in your name, (something I should have done waaaaaaaaaaaaaay long ago, but ignored. Have done this past year though...necessary for my sense of self).
Begin to make suttle deposits into that account, ones that will not be noticed. Every little bit helps and it all adds up.
And, even if you don't end up leaving, you'll still have that account in your name for whatever the reason. Provides you a sense of your own self FOR your own self.

Seeking counseling is also necessary. If just to assist you in getting through this.

I have to agree some with Marjan, though. Perhaps you are investing too much of your emotions into viewing your step dot as your competition. However, that is easy for me to say, as I do not know to what extents your hub takes this. If it is something sexual that he has going with his dot, then something definately needs to be done ASAP.

I'm sorry you are feeling so alone in this.
I can only hope that you will be able to find some support through us, and conseling for yourself as well.

Keep us informed. We all do care.

Shangrala