Conratulations on making it through (prison) what I can only imagine was incredibly difficult and come out in such a positive scenario regarding work, education, etc...

I would throw out all that happened at the BBQ as you were both drunk as you have stated.

But, it still does not sound like the relationship is working. Maybe give it a little more time, have a serious discussion without any alcohol or iphones on and hash it out.

I wish you the best of luck. Please take care not to ruin what you've accomplished for yourself by having any more trouble with alcohol as part of the equation.