Quote:
Originally Posted by bonaire
You can do a hobby or hang with friends without dating. Are you trying to make dating a "life requirement"? I have been with women (sometimes overlapping) ever since I started dating. In 1981. It's the type of thing where I kind of wish I had at least 1-year to myself since then. At 45 today, I love where I am at (a moderately funcational family of four). However, I have a few guys who I have worked with who stayed single and pursued their own life-goals with dating mixed in here and there but didn't serial-date. I kind of wish I had the strength to do that years ago.
If you want a partner in life - work hard. Really hard. To find someone who is compatible with your baggage. Everyone has baggage and you want to find someone who is entirely comfortable with yours. Be able to push away those who aren't compatible without fear and also without remorse. It may be cold but you do yourself a favor by being more selective than less selective.
Key to life - being happy with yourself "because" of yourself. You shouldn't need others to let yourself be happy. Go on a 3-mile hike alone and see if you can find that part of yourself you really love and feed that part of you with as much fertilizer as you can.
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Thanks bonaire for your advice....well....I'm trying to find that special person to make a family with....I do lots of activities by myself and actually hiking is one of them....I go hiking alone very often on Sunday morning and I love it the way that I can meditate all alone up the mountain....
I think my problem is not really finding a partner, it's more thinking about loneliness too much that I gave it too much importance and then I'm failing here and there whenever relationship I get into....also, I'm so afraid of getting hurt that I let it happen...Ironically, I think I'm the source of suffering...I see when I'm happy and have positive energy every good thing is happening and when I'm not all bad things are there for me....that's the truth, and I know it, but still I'm not master of working it right....but I think I'm getting better....
It's better to have one good partner for a life rather than wondering around hurt broken from one relationship to the other....so, you are a lucky one to find that special person soon in your life without dating too much!
M.