Hi again, Calista, there are a couple of comments I want to make even though I'm not sure you'll follow me. I'm pretty sure I'm getting a ways out in front of you here but perhaps you'd indulge me anyway, if only to correct me.

I know full well you don't much enjoy feeling disgusting and unlovable but I'm guessing this might not be the first time you've ever felt that way. It sounds to me like progress that you're now starting to look at this stuff and talk about it.

Next time you notice yourself feeling disgusting and unlovable, see if you can get any sort of bearing on where that might be coming from. I don't see any of us saying that about you, for instance; I'm not even thinking it. As far as you can tell, is anyone besides you (and possibly some of your crazy family) saying/thinking that about you?

Suppose it turned out to be only you (or at least you were the only one saying it whose opinion mattered much to you). Getting way way out in front for a moment: what do you suppose would happen if you were to stop saying/thinking that -- or else, if you went right on saying/thinking it but stopped believing it?

Don't be too sure you couldn't stop, and don't be too sure it wouldn't make any difference if you did. My own guess (from way out in front of you where I have no business being) is that it would make room for whatever was next for you -- which might or might not be any more fun, but would be sure to be at least a little different.

Ordinarily I would've prefaced this with one of those "leaving everyday reality, please watch your step" warnings but I figure we're already having this whole conversation outside everyday reality, so it's really just a question of where outside everyday reality we go next.

Please look and see whether you're disgusted yourself, or whether you expect someone else to be. I'm asking because if there's something that's supposed to make me disgusted with you, it doesn't seem to be working for some reason.