You have said much (((((((Catherine)))))) and much I can relate to....
My head is not in a really clear place so I am going to have to put this all on re-read later......

The noise in my head is too loud
the movies running are too vivid
the shock and confusion about what i'm being shown
is way too difficult to accept or
absorb----

DAMN---and the body got beat for lying
and that's what the parents did all the time....
deceit, lies, cover-ups, secrets......
TOO MUCH FLOODING!!!!!!!

You will find me in the broom closet.