I know I guess I have spent my whole life holding it all in, as no one typically has ever cared or understood. I like it here because of the opposite, you are all great. It's very hard and new to me to open up, but in doing so I suppose it will help me.

Thanks for the nudge... and support, re posted above. I saved it, perhaps I knew subconsciously I would would want to post again... I dunno. I just also feel like I am betraying someone if I talk about situations unknowingly... silly I suppose.

ok apparently I can only edit once.. so its posted below