i dont know where should i begin. my life is like turning upside down. i dont see a future for me. i have a dream, an obsession, of what i wanted to be, but now all of them seems like out of reach. people say 'dont give up on your dreams', i gave up, perhaps. im at the lowest point of my life, again i said that for numerous times. i've started it all in the wrong way. i wish i could rewind it all, sometimes i imagined start a new life but its not easy, in fact it sounds impossible. i had a gf who's in love with me, i can see it, i love her, but at most times i feel guilty because she obviously deserved another man way better than me who can support her life, her needs. i cant give her anything right now except my love for her, literally, believe me. im depressed. numb and empty. confused. why am i such a loser, a failure, in everything. i cant do right, not a single thing. my whole life is so full of regret. why cant i just be normal. im such a freak.