Hi again, Calista, there are a couple of comments I want to make even though I'm not sure you'll follow me. I'm pretty sure I'm getting a ways out in front of you here but perhaps you'd indulge me anyway, if only to correct me.
No correction needed.....

I know full well you don't much enjoy feeling disgusting and unlovable but I'm guessing this might not be the first time you've ever felt that way. It sounds to me like progress that you're now starting to look at this stuff and talk about it.
FooZe This is weird that you ask because my T just said the same things to me. I did look at when I feel this way and why, and it boils down to what I have been told by the family AND (very big AND) the way I felt when certain abusive situations were happening. There is a lot more surfacing now, especailly since the comments from the family on Sunday. And, YIPEE I have another family function coming up Saturday!! Where are the "party alters " when I need them. Since that happened, (the innappropriate comments) I have had very bad flashes and partial memories, to the point of making me throw up.

Next time you notice yourself feeling disgusting and unlovable, see if you can get any sort of bearing on where that might be coming from. I don't see any of us saying that about you, for instance; I'm not even thinking it. As far as you can tell, is anyone besides you (and possibly some of your crazy family) saying/thinking that about you?
Nope just me AFAIK.

Suppose it turned out to be only you (or at least you were the only one saying it whose opinion mattered much to you). Getting way way out in front for a moment: what do you suppose would happen if you were to stop saying/thinking that -- or else, if you went right on saying/thinking it but stopped believing it?
Sounds like DBT to me. I tried it. I hate it. It feels too much like mind control .

Don't be too sure you couldn't stop, and don't be too sure it wouldn't make any difference if you did. My own guess (from way out in front of you where I have no business being) is that it would make room for whatever was next for you -- which might or might not be any more fun, but would be sure to be at least a little different.
Please don't think you have "no business" being wayyyy out in front. Thank you for raising these points and questions. They are coming up very intrusively on their own now so I need to look at them.

Ordinarily I would've prefaced this with one of those "leaving everyday reality, please watch your step" warnings but I figure we're already having this whole conversation outside everyday reality, so it's really just a question of where outside everyday reality we go next.
I live in an alternate universe so no problem....

Please look and see whether you're disgusted yourself, or whether you expect someone else to be. I'm asking because if there's something that's supposed to make me disgusted with you, it doesn't seem to be working for some reason.