I don't know if it helps you or not but at least you can try to start the diary. Just write down everything you feel and wanna say. It helps. You can even try to write the article to some paper, anonymously of course, but this is the chance to express everything.

Do you enjoy music, poetry or art? If you do try to express yourself and all your pain through it. I'm sure you'll feel yourself much better.

Bless you the Lord.