Oh Kimmy....I'm so sorry that you're going through this and as you know....(the mother issue is my biggest block right now too)....But what I have concluded is that whether the parasite comes in the form of a mother, a "so called friend" or anyone else in your life...they are still an emotional parasite and you are their victim. I have accepted that I will always have to maintain a very clear emotional boundary from my mother....because despite the blood relationship, her effect on me is as unhealthy as it is on many other people in her life. Being related by blood just doesn't make it acceptable. Nor does it mean you should tolerate it.....take the word mother out of the equation and simply ask yourself....Does this person ever have my best interests at heart?
Then act accordingly.....grace