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Jul 31, 2009, 08:41 AM
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I’m very interested to know what others who have experienced reproductive health issues have felt and experienced emotionally. I recently started therapy and am now seeing how my reproductive health issues over the years have greatly affected my emotions, and my actions, on so many levels. Below is my story of my various health problems connected with my reproductive system.
I got my period when I was 12, and right away it wasn’t ‘regular’. No biggie, until I started to have debilitating pain when I was 13 on my lower right side – my doctor thought I was too young for a pelvic exam, told me and my parents it was probably an ovarian cyst, gave me pain pills and sent me home. The pain continued on and off, then reached a new level when I was 15. This time, my doctor did a pelvic exam (ouch!). The diagnosis was the same, only this time he put me on the Pill to give my ovaries a break from ovulating. The Pill made me nervous and irritable, qualities somewhat common for most 15-year olds, but I felt completely out of control and hated it. So, my doctor took me off the Pill and sent me to a gynecologist. Her diagnosis – I was an emotional teenager. Yep, that’s what she wrote in my file, simply because I teared up when telling her about my horrible pain. What a *****! I still had pain, so then I got an abdominal ultrasound (not fun, holding all that water in your bladder while someone is pushing on your abdomen!). That showed that I did indeed have at least one cyst on my right ovary. More pain pills.
So, more unregular periods, pain coming and going, until I was 17. I became increasingly ill from the pain, vomiting at times. We switched to another gyno (thank goodness!), who sent me for both a pelvic and abdominal ultrasound – that revealed cysts on my right and left ovaries. My pain got to be so intense, my gyno finally recommended a laparoscopy (an outpatient surgery where a tiny camera is inserted through the navel). I’ll never forget waking up in the recovery room, both my parents standing there, crying. I thought that I must have cancer and be dying! My mother finally explained to me through her tears that my reproductive system was a mess, adhesions everywhere. My left ovary was much larger than normal, doubled over, and attached to my pelvic wall. My fallopian tubes were lesioned to my colon. Oddly enough, my right ovary, the one that always gave me pain, seemed to be healthy. My gyno said that I’d need surgery again, and that my left ovary would most likely have to be removed. That’s what ended up happening – my appendix, left ovary and left fallopian tube were removed, and my right fallopian tube was lasered off of my colon but was badly damaged. The doctors said it was PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) that caused this mess. My incision was 6 inches across my lower abdomen, similar to a hysterectomy incision. I was in the hospital 4 days.
Two weeks after the surgery, I wasn’t feeling any better. My mother, who had a hysterectomy a few years before my surgery, told me that I just needed to move more to gain my strength back. One day soon after, part of my incision started leaking – we went to the nurse practitioner, who said it was infected, but that it wasn’t uncommon. A few days later, I started vomiting and had diarrhea and couldn’t stop. After 24 hours of that, my parents called my doctor, who told them to bring me to the ER – they gave me anti-nausea meds, but that still didn’t do the trick, I continued vomiting. I was then checked back into the hospital, where they did another pelvic ultrasound that showed that my right ovary was now infected. An infectious disease specialist was brought in on my case – he finally figured out that my infection was caused by a form of the strep virus! My gyno said the only way to save my remaining ovary was to put in a vaginal drain, so that operation happened the next day. In recovery, I continued to bleed. My gyno stuffed gauze into me, applying intense pressure, trying to stop the bleeding – it was the worst pain of my life, I wanted to die… and it didn’t even work. They had to wheel me back to the OR, put me under again and sew up that vein. I almost needed a blood transfusion, and I was very weak. Next day, the drain fell out. The following day, another surgery to put in a different kind of drain – this one stayed in. The following day, I had a pickline put in my arm – this is a tube that went straight to my heart, so I could receive antibiotics by IV for 3 weeks at home. I then took oral antibiotics for 6 months.
Cut to 16 years later – I’m a virgin with low self-esteem and fearful of intimacy. I’m working through these issues with my therapist – it’s very difficult, and we’re really just getting into the hard stuff, but I know it will be worth it. All of these experiences really robbed me emotionally. I also felt like I had to protect my parents and not show them how scared and angry I was when this was all happening, because they were blaming themselves for not getting me medical attention sooner.
For those of you who have experienced similar issues, I’d very much like to know how you dealt with the emotions that this brings up.
Thanks for reading my story! 
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