You guys are asking the right questions. I’ll try to answer them; why doesn’t she leave? She has always been more financially responsible than I. I just can’t handle money; it’s one of the biggest issues that I have been trying to deal with. Even since I have been in treatment, I’ve screwed up another credit card. I just can’t control myself, I spend like an alcoholic drinks. So if we not want the house to foreclosed on she needs to stay here.

Does she know that depression is a sickness? Yes she does. I have been dealing with her physical disability for 7 or 8 years now. She would say I haven’t done a good job of it but I have tried. So I have been diagnosed since the end of March with a psychological disability & she was supportive for about 4 weeks. I just don’t understand it! I thought she was my soul mate for many years & when I really need her help she is slamming the door in my face.

I’m not perfect but I am trying to make thing better for our relationship & myself & when I ask her what she is doing to improve things all she can say is she is watching me to see if I succeed. I don’t think it can work without a real effort on both of our parts because I see that we have both brought us to this point. We just started couple therapy last week & now she wants me out. I’m not leaving until after our next session & even at that, I don’t know where to go.

To make matters worse, we have a beautiful 4-year-old daughter. I don’t know if my wife has the strength to be the primary caregiver for her. I don’t know that I am the right choice either. I came home the other day in the middle of the afternoon & found my wife in bed & my little girl with free rein of the house. I don’t think that is acceptable. Using the TV as a babysitter is bad enough but to actually go to bed knowing that she is up & no one else is there seems dangerous to me.

I thank you guys for listening to me vent. I only have 2 people that I can dump all this junk on & I feel like that’s all I do these days. Nice to have a group that knows what it’s like to bounce things off of.

Noc