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Hello Breanne, welcome to PC! I’m sure that you’ll find this site full of supportive people and useful information.
We all have a deal breaker. Something that we cannot accept no matter what, sometimes it might seem small and unimportant to someone else but to us it’s a huge deal. If porn makes you uncomfortable then it does, there’s no shame in that. I wouldn’t be angry at your girlfriend’s parents, that’s illogical. While we have no porn in our home, they come up with it somewhere and I’ve discovered it in my son’s room from time to time. I won’t even attempt to guess why her mother didn’t take that opportunity to discuss things with her, but I do know had she made a huge issue of it and made the girl feel shameful it would have been much worse.
If you’re in a mature relationship you should be able to explain to your gf that porn is not your thing. If she’s a decent human being she’ll respect your boundaries, if not, this relationship won’t last anyway.
I’m so sorry that your family isn’t supportive. Depression is not something that we can control so it makes no sense that your mother would be angry about this. Perhaps you should take the plunge and give her a little credit. She might surprise you.
I do not mean to be condescending at all, but you sound quite young. Perhaps you’re not ready for a relationship. It is about give and take. I fully understand how you feel though. When I was young I said that I would never date anyone that ever smoked pot. Drugs are not my thing. I did not know at that time that my now husband smoked pot recreationally in high school. Had I known this not only would I have not dated him, had I discovered it before we got married (even though he’d long since quit) I frankly wouldn’t have married him.
We’re approaching our 24th wedding anniversary. So obviously I would have made a horrible mistake. There is such a negative stereotype for people that do drugs (irresponsible, ambitious, losers) he is none of these things, but I would have judged him on my preconceived notions rather than the person I’d known since I was 8 and dated for 2 years before we married.
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I've been married for 24 years and have four wonderful children.
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