Thinker, have you heard of mindfulness meditation?

Its origins are not from doctors and therapists, but from Buddhism. This is the only thing that has really been worthy advice from my T. We didn't really go through it, but I checked into it myself. I got a few books just to learn the basics. And I don't feel the need to go see T anymore.

The main concept for beginners, is just to focus on one thing, the breath. Keep your entire focus on your breath as you breathe in and breathe out.

Now here's the important part. While you're doing this you need to let go of all judgment. Everything just is what it is, and nothing more. There is no good, there is no bad. There is no love or hate. There is no right or wrong. It just IS what it is. It's the moment itself. It's just you and your breathing.

While you're doing it, things will enter your mind to distract you, but don't get mad. And especially, don't get mad at yourself for having those thoughts or being distracted. Acknowledge the outside thought but don't judge it. Just let it be and return your concentration to your breathing.

When I do this, I say things to myself like..."There is no judgment in this place. There is no right or wrong in this place. There is no anger, there is no hate. There is no concept of evaluation in this place. No comparisons are made in this place. This place just IS. It is existence, and there is nothing right or wrong about it. It is tranquility"

In short, try to let yourself just BE. It's very difficult, especially when you're feeling down at the bottom. So many bad thoughts try to creep in. But it's OK. Acknowledge them for what they are, but don't judge yourself for having them. Just return to your breathing.

I do this at work sometimes. Other people go out for a smoke break, I go out for a walk. I practice "walking meditation". This doesn't mean I walk with my eyes closed chanting "OHM" as I walk. I'm just trying to let things be what they are. And I keep repeating to myself, "There is no judgment here. There is no right or wrong. There is no good or bad. This is just existence. This is me and the earth. The earth and I are one."

The best place to do walking meditation would be somewhere that's devoid of distractions. A nice park for example, if it is available. I work in a major commercial area, next to an interstate with all kinds of noise and distractions. So I try to focus on things full of life; Trees, the sky (even if it's cloudy it doesn't matter. It's still marvelous, because there is no good or bad in this place). I'll even look at weeds and appreciate the life within them. Weeds are not good or bad. They are part of existence, they are life. What it really amounts to is acceptance. It's more difficult to think about it that way, especially at first. But that's what it is really all about. It is what it is, and that is OK.

Now as you can imagine this is very difficult to do in a busy area because you'll be walking along and some a$$hole flies by you on the road with the music blasting and chucks a McDonald's bag outside the window. Something like that provokes immediate feelings in me of hatred, anger, and a desire to do make that person pay for what he/she has done. But then I acknowledge those feelings. I don't judge myself for having them, and then I redirect my focus to the earth and to my breathing. After I'm done, I can analyze the feelings I had...but this time I'll be in a better position to do that more objectively.

Here's a couple books that I have.

http://www.amazon.com/Wherever-You-T...9098984&sr=1-2
This is by John Kabat Zinn and his main focus in life is teaching mindfulness meditation. His books are more instructional - they teach you how to do it. You might be able to find mp3's on the internet of him providing instructions - leading you through a meditation session, for example. This is a good place to start, because he gives you the fundamentals.

http://www.amazon.com/Peace-Every-St...9099163&sr=1-1
This book I really like. It's a compilation of lessons from Thich Nhat Hanh. He's a Vietnamese Buddhist monk who has been exiled from his country. He teaches people how to practice mindfulness in any setting, not just meditation (though he gives lessons on meditation also). He uses a lot of analogies to put things in perspective and I think that helps a lot. Mindfulness is a difficult concept to get your head around. Especially when first starting. By the way, I'm no expert, not by a long shot. I consider myself to be very much a mindfulness n00b. But that's OK, because I'm not judging myself.
Anyway, in the book he gives examples of different real life scenarios where you can apply mindfulness. I have learned a lot from this book and I find it inspiring.

If you can find mp3's of Zinn leading a meditation session, grab those and just try to follow along and do what he says.

Just remember, while you're meditating, nothing can harm you, because there is no good or evil. There is just existence. Just that moment. It's just you...being. That alone, I find to be very calming and comforting. It is the ultimate in tranquility.

I believe in this practice, because it comes from the ancients, not some stupid drug trial runs and unsubstantiated theories. You don't need to believe in Buddha or anything like that. You just need to BE. Just be you, and that's all you need to be.

I wish you the absolute best!