Hi, Badger,
I am not sure what find disagreeable in the responses, but I agree with you that we women tend to take on the blame for the failures. I know, in this last attempt I've made at relationship, I've blamed myself and felt seriously flawed. But, in my posting the question of it in "Rejected....trying to recover," people here have offered insights that perhaps he was a "cold fish" or not very nice to have behaved as he did. I have found that very helpful in my striving toward recovery. Yes, there are a lot of cads and jerks out there!
While I no longer buy into the idea that the loving Mr. Right will miraculously appear as I get happy with my solitary life, I do think it is good advice to focus on self-development, educational pursuits, spiritual growth, and emotional well-being. What is wrong with that advice? I am just not doing it with the thought of it leading toward meeting a wonderful man, but I am doing it!
I do like what you've said about moulding ourselves into a "happy" woman who will please a new man. I recently visited one forum on the "Emotionally unavailable man," which was hosted by a man who purported himself to be an "expert," and who stated that women should suppress their questioning and feelings of anxiety, giving the man plenty of leeway and time to adjust and to not bother the man feelings and concerns! ********!!!! I have the right to ask questions, to express my feelings, and to receive support and comforting responses, even in the initial stages of a relationship.
Seeker