Welcome Foxshade,

It sounds like you are having a hard time and it has been going on for a while. It can be scary to feel this way and not know what is going on. I can tell you that when I was in high school I felt similarly to how you do. I also wanted to deny that there was anything wrong. I felt that since I could go to school and do my homework then there must be nothing wrong (ie it was all in my head). I can say though, that things only got better with time when I asked for help. When I kept denying that there was a problem things just got worse It was really hard to do. Even if you don't have depression (and that would be up to a professional to make that diagnosis) it sounds like you could use some help. It sounds like you have people around you who care about you. Could you ask them for help? Could you ask your parents or relatives? I was scared to bring it up with my parents so I talked to the minister at my church and she talked to my parents for me. Could you go back to the person you backed out of talking to before? It is not uncommon for people to find it hard to ask for help and to cancel or not show up for initial appointments with professionals, so don't worry about that.

Know that we are here to support you. Feel free to ask any questions you have.