Good morning peoples. I feel better not having taken any seroquel last night. I didn't sleep deeply. Probably got 4-5 hours last night, but it's worth it to not feel so hung over today. Can't wait to get off of everything.

And Pug, yes, I'm aware of mindfulness and meditation. I'm terrible at focusing on my breathing. I start to hyperventilate and feel more stressed than when I started. I also did a program where we learned that there is no good or bad, no right or wrong, etc. I'm aware of that in the overall universe that everything is an interpretation by us, but all just is, however, sometimes I use those words because they're practical...as when someone's action or inaction causes real harm to me.

I have one of Jon Kabat-Zinn's books and the CD. I couldn't get past 30 pages. Got bored. No offense for those who it works for. I just think too much to get any benefit out of Buddhist practices. You know, like if there is nothing to be attached to...if I should just let everything pass in and out of my mind, then nothing would get accomplished in this world. We wouldn't try to correct wrongs...punish those who treat the world like their personal garbage dump or the dictators who starve their people so they can have a thousand pairs of shoes and cases of the finest cognac. I may be an INFP on Myers-Briggs and be all for mediation and healing, but once I get indignant because someone or something has pushed me so far that I can no longer be nice, I turn into an INFJ and want to lead the world to a brighter future.

Although I realize that meditation is like a time out from the conflicts of this world and not necessarily used 24-7 by those who practice it, I can't get past the breathing. I feel lightheaded and frustrated by it all. I'd rather be doing anything else.

Thanks again everyone for your support thus far. Hoping to have a better day.