I sincerely appreciate the encouragement.
... I did not feel responsible for anything other than offering my support along with everyone else who was offering it.
Most of us, I think, wander in and out of fear, anger, and frustration. Sometimes we can share what is happening and how we are feeling, other times we cannot.
I respect this as does everyone posting in here.
It's what we do; give space to someone who needs it by honoring their boundaries..."welcome backs" are readily available with no expectation of any explanation for absences.
We come and go according to our personal needs, this is honoring our feelings.
Perhaps for many of us, myself included, learning to accept them, honor them, and validate them without seeking approval from others is a milestone...

Sometimes doing something in a different way is criticized/damned by those who think there is a set-in-stone way of healing, and deviating from it is not acceptable.

The past several months have not been any harder for me than it has been for anyone else.
I think we have done the best we could at any given moment...something we fail to see until the crisis has passed, and we may not see it even then. We are also members of The Should Have Class And Since I Did Not Do It Perfectly Then I Am Worthless ; most of us have MAs in it.
Our bats are well worn, with a patina that comes with constant use.

Lessons taught, lessons learned. Teachers...everyone of us.

In Peace,
Catherine