My boyfriend of 3 yrs. Has BPD (won't admit it). We have a 5 mo. Old baby & are supposed to get married....and I love him more than anything in the world & do want to spend the rest of my life with him (when he's not in his bad mode)...but he is so cruel to me during his psychotic episodes that my psychological scars are so deep I fear I'll never be the same. He starts feeling angry,says the meanest things anyone could ever say, I cry,then I get mean toward him, I leave,he goes crazy tracking me down til he finds me & I agree to come back, he cries uncontrollably,apologizes & swears he'll change cuz he can't live without me,we do the crazy passionate make-up session, things are okay (sometimes even perfect) for an undetermined period of time, and we start all over from the beginning again. Does anyone else know what kind of agony that pattern of behavior has caused? Any comments, suggestions,etc. Would be welcomed!