I relate to this for the same reasons that you do. I didn't get what I needed as a child from my parents, although they meant well and have been married more than 40 years, go to church, etc. But my parents had unrecognized unmet needs, so I had unrecognized unmet needs, and so did all of my siblings. Some of us have been more crippled by it than others. One of my brothers is dead, and this is the root of it (suicide - he thought he could never belong or be accepted or do the things he wanted to do). Although my parents are still married, they don't have a healthy relationship, and I never really saw it until my husband pointed it out.

I was not ready to get married, and not ready to have children, but did it anyway because I thought that was what I was supposed to do. I wish that I had figured out what I wanted and how to get my needs met first. I admire girls (or boys) who insist, "I will marry for love or not at all." I wish I had heard that much earlier in life and learned that message.

I work with youth in the juvenile justice system. Many of them have babies, even though these kids are as young as 15 years old or younger, and they don't understand how to manage themselves, let alone be effective parents and provide for their own children. It's normalized for them though, because their parents were often that young too, and everywhere they look, they see other kids having kids. The cycle continues.

The wording proclaiming some people unqualified to have children could probably be thought out better. But this guy isn't saying that there are certain people who should never have children. As I understand it, he's saying that people need to understand how to become adequately nurtured themselves, before selecting a mate and definitely before becoming parents. I sincerely wish that I had learned these things first, and that my parents had, and the kids that I work with even more so.