I know this is not "useful" info, but sometimes it's just nice to know you're not alone.

BIG TRIGGER BELOW!

I have a similar type of ideation when I'm broken-hearted. Wanting to cut the heart out of my chest and/or cut in a fashion on my chest that "symbolizes" removing my heart. For me, it's part of a fantasy that cutting out my heart would cut the pain out. But we all know it doesn't work that way *sigh*

I feel your pain.