So I've been talking to this guy online for months now and he unfriended me twice and friended me back. And he told me he likes me and he had been making some bad relationship choices before instead of the one he shld have (being the one with me) we have really nice chats and the go on for hours some days. I really like the fact his don't automatically turn to sex chat. He has even been talking about really meeting sometime and trying to date. I'm not opposed to it I'm just very nervous. I haven't been with anyone for 3 years and have turned many dwn and avoided them too bcz I wld have panic attacks. I think I worry that I won't be worthy if he sees me in person. I feel like a big fat person(yet I have a normal bmi) that noone can love. I like talking to him a lot though I dnt want to self sabotage things. I'm afraid I may. I walso don't want to get my hopes up in case it really isn't great. My heart can't take much heartache I've been through enuff of that. Maybe I just need to stop thinking about it. Nothings happened yet. When we meet we both have to decide if we like the other. Maybe I'm beginning to feel inadequate and ugly and don't want to be rejected by someone I can chat with so easily. But its never the same in person. Maybe ill be all blundery and not as attractive. I just need to stop there this could go on forever.