As for the realtor, I found it's the squeaky wheel that gets the grease. They tend to work harder for those who keep track of them and "complain nicely." The average realtor, down here anyway, is more interested in getting your signature so they get the commission no matter who sells the house, than actively working for that money. imo
Make sure any new agreement is IN WRITING and signed, dated!!!! Verbal orders always seem to be forgotten at closing. sigh.

Good to hear you and spouse are trying to work through this together. Both of you need to work on your coping skills, but do the best you can for now (((((HUGS)))) give hubby a hug too. You're doing ok, to me.