Vett...

I have some unusual ideas about all of this stuff. So take this with a grain of salt.

It's good you have found a friend you can trust and confide in.

It's good that you confronted your "demons" about the sexual encounters while depressed.

It's a good idea to see if you are being honest with yourself and with her about your motives and need for a friend or someone to confide it. Having fun with someone certainly contributes to your outlook, doesn't it? Combats the depression.

Since she knows you're not ready for a relationship, then maybe it's a good thing to leave things as they are now, to just accept this gift in your life. There's someone there willing to let you lean on them. We all need that from time to time.