Trying to have an adult relationship with a spouse I think is the hardest thing there is with being DID. Think you have done the right thing with letting him know the dx. Think you have to be open and talk to him that sometimes it's not the right time to be close. And maybe ask him to let you be the one to start the closest. Only you can tell when you are in a safe and comfortable place to be close. And when I say close I'm also talking about hugs and holding hands, things along that line as well. So you need to communicate your boundaries with him. Just have to hope he can understand.
I know it can get hard when the alters are close and understand what is happening. I know I have had some start freaking out when they get to close. It's extremely hard to get a balance. I do enjoy being close to my husband. I know some people with DID don't have that closest. But I started slowly and built trust in my husband. Only thing I can say is start slowly and set your boundaries and needs. Make them known. Start from there and go at our own pace. Best of Luck, this is a hard one.