I know what you mean. Sure, he is going through a divorce and I love him enough to simply go ahead and make myself available as a distraction during this short vacation. But I know deep down that he is not interested in me, not in that way. I did have hopes but if he were interested in me, wouldn't he call? Wouldn't he want to spend extra time with me? I asked him out to watch a movie with me and he said no....so....what does this mean?
I sort of feel that I am being used in a way. If he had somebody else to go with....like a g/f or a woman he really liked....he wouldn't be calling be to join him. This makes me so sad. Sometimes I pick up some sort of resentment from him and I tend to believe that it comes from him not really wanting me as company for his trip. I was simply his only choice. His last choice.
For my own self I've come to the conclusion that nothing is ever going to happen. I'll just be alone forever. Fine. Screw it. Mountains are no strangers to snow, right? Shame though. Once again I'm not given the proper chance. Shame.