We just don't know how to deal with my mother....It looks like she has sever depression and the combination of her depression and her controling attitudes are driving everybody crazy....
She's here visiting, but she's so unhappy and any word and anything make her feel worse and she says stuff that makes everybody unhappy...by everybody I ment my two sisters and me!
I feel horrible for her and for all of us, but it's really hard to deal with her...she was always very difficult person....fighting over everything, not managing her anger and slapping people on their faces....even very easily she physically abuses people....I think if she was living here, she would have ended up in the prison really....she used to beat us when we were kids and even through our teenage life....
Truely, now that I'm 36, I think my mom is a total abuser and if she can't abuse or control anybody, she gets into depression....
I found it so hard to love her...each time I see her, I get so much anxiety and butterfly in my stomach and interesting talking to my older sister, she is telling me the same....my older sister is here visiting too....but she doesn't have a good time with all the stuff mom is doing....
I feel like a total jerk for not wanting my own mom, but it's so difficult to deal with her....She gets angry so quickly, and tells stuff that nobody wants to here it....not even single day that we can be with her, and she doesn't get angry!
Sometimes, I think my mom is a total crazy person....
If I want to write about her and her crazy behaviour, I got to write a book!!!
Just right now, she called me concerning about my older sister who want to drive 6 hours to another city with her two little kids....I told my mom, you can't change her mind and she's 40 years old and kids are her responsibilites....my mom got pissed at me and hung up on me....that's who she is...wanting to control everybody and now that we are adult and she can't do it anymore, she can't stand with us....
Another thing that she does constantly is that she's telling my younger sister how fat is her husband and how lazy he is....OMG...I can't believe my mom is telling these stuff to my sister who truely loves her husband....I keep telling mom that my sister and my brother in law love each other so much and he's a smart guy....but I'm afraid that mom make her to get divorce from him....another thing that she tells me is that I don't need to fall in love and get married....I just have to find a guy and get married....I told her "why?"....I don't need a guy to feed me or put shelter on my head or wear me clothes then why should I get married with somebody that I don't love??? then she gets pissed and not thinking to me for a while....
sorry guys for nagging too much, but if I don't write it here, then who should I go to....
I'm complaining about my own blood...my own mother...how sad and ugly it is...I feel so guilty about writing the whole things even here....
thanks again for reading
Marjan