Being able to keep up that external facade must be one of the special talents that comes along with the depression, but it's so very exhausting to keep it going - letting out the feelings is a good course of immediate action, even if it's merely writing down some of the frustrations here.

I hate dealing with insurance companies, but I'd be tempted to call them & let them know that those 2 numbers appear to be disconnected - they should at least be able to give you an updated list with updated/alternate numbers. You could also check with them whether the ones connected to the hospital will really only take outside patients.