Hi webgirl and welcome to PC.

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. Long distance romance is a very very difficult thing, even under the best of circumstances. I've been there, I know, but I won't go into detail about my situation at this time.

I don't think you are having an OCD issue here. This is an issue of needing an answer that you can't seem to get from him. It doesn't sound like he is being straight up with you, and whether he's not because he feels badly and really doesn't want to hurt you, or he's just playing a game with you, either way, it hurts.

Like you said, you are used to hanging on to him and writing him every single day. It's hard to let go sometimes, especially when you really don't understand why.

I think right now is the best time ever for you to do some soul searching about yourself. Why do you think you stick with someone who has treated you badly? Do you have low self esteem issues? Do you think that you couldn't get someone else in your life that would treat you better? What exactly is it about him that keeps you tied to him? Do you think that waiting for him for two years and putting your life on hold is really what you want to do? Working on yourself and finding out what makes you do the things you do and think the way you think will be a definite plus in moving on from this kind of situation.

Time itself is a healer in many ways. Taking care of YOU is so very important and will be a huge benefit in your life when it comes to meeting people who won't take advantage of us and recognizing when they do early enough that you can get out of the relationship before it gets too deep. You deserve to be happy. If this guy isn't making you happy, then drop him and find ways that you can make yourself happy.

From what you explain, it doesn't sound like he cares very much. It does sound like he knows how to use excuses. He knows you are steadfast, so there is no worry that if he felt like looking you up when he gets home, you would be there for him. I don't have a good gut feeling about that as I think he will continue to use you and possibly treat you badly again. You don't deserve that.

Take good care.....keep writing here for support. I wish you well!


sabby