Hi, my name is Samantha and I'm 23 years old. I have a two year old son that is diagnosed with Autism. There has been quite a few of stressful things going on in my life right now. My father is a very sick man, who is in the hospital every month or so. I'm afraid that he can pass any day. I'm in a relationship with a man that i get NO support from. My son is my biggest concern right now. I have had hope for the last year that he was going to get better but only seems to be getting worst, my hope is fading. I was raped in my teens and I am not quite sure if I ever really dealt with it. I can not explain what is happening to me or if anybody else knows what I'm trying to explain. I have these dream things but I am awake and fully conscience. I see things happening, it's usually about somebody trying to kill me and how I'm gonna save my son. It happens everywhere, I can't even stand in a line a store without seeing in my head the guy behind me, pull a gun out and how I will react or how I'm gonna save my son. I don't know if they're hallucinations or not. I have hallucinated in the past and they are not similar to what is happening now. It has been going on for long as I remember but they are more detailed and planned out in my head. I do believe I have Bi Polar and people have told me I have it. About every six months or so I get very manic then the rest of time I can't seem to get moving. Mental illness does run in my family. They have been hospitalized. I'm trying to find a friend or someone to talk to to see if I can make this stop on it's own. My head races constantly and I can't slow it down. I took the Bi Polar, Anxiety and Schizophrenia quizzes and scored way too high on all three, so I do not know what is wrong with me!!