I think you should say that. There is no set way to do a couples session. You do it your way, not some way you saw on TV or something (constant criticism for 40 minutes). If you don't want to say bad things, then don't.

I have been through a long divorce and one thing I can say is that my XH and I did it our way, not the neighbor's way, or his brother's way, or my friend's way. There's no rule that says you have to be nasty or mean. Ask your counselor for help in saying things that are not working for you in the marriage. Tell your H that your goal is not to be critical or blame him or insist on being "right." Just tell him that there are some things in the marriage that are not working for you. He probably has things that are not working for him too.

You might also explain to him why you told him you wanted a divorce over the phone while he was on vacation instead of telling him face to face.

Best of luck. I used to think too that I would rather die than go through a divorce and all it entailed. I am done with the divorce now and I can tell you it is much better than dying. My kids are doing well and so am I and my XH. We get along better now than we did when we were married. Courage!