Quote:
Originally Posted by sunrise
Shangrala, my overwhelming thought as I read your posts was that I hope you will go see a therapist yourself. You sound numb, withdrawn, and hurting. A lot. With a caring therapist to help, you can find life and hope "on the other side."
I also want to second what Rapunzel wrote: you can still go to couples counseling even if your intention is to split up. My therapist called it "uncoupling therapy". It can be emotionally very difficult to separate, and when there are kids involved, a therapist can help both of you keep motivated to do what is best for your kids (by that I don't mean stay together, but how to separate with the kids' best interests at heart).
One of the best things I did was go to couples counseling when my H and I were splitting up. Because of that, we are now able to communicate well and co-parent as a team. Our kids are doing great.
Good luck.
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Thanks, sunrise, truly.
I agree with Rap, as well...thing is, hub is the type of man who believes that counseling is a sign of weakness, (although we all know that his fears, for whatever his reasons, are the true reason behind his not wanting therapy).
What I find sadly amuzing is the fact how hub always reminds me how things can change between us.....so long as I "shape up and just change already"...lmao.
And yes.....Numb I am....very. The thought of becoming numb scared the hell out of me at first, but now it seems to be my savior...prevents me from hurting anymore, which I need...even though it isn't the correct approach.
The only drag about becoming as numb as I have is how I now have to "undo" or "untrain" myself from closing off to what affects me. I've noticed that my barrier has become so high and so thick that little seems to penetrate anymore....regarding many other things now....NOT healthy, and I know this.
Couple therapy sounds great....just not possible for hub n self.
I have full intentions of beginning therapy, (for self and daughter), once I've relocated and settled. I really miss me.
I'm glad to hear that you've managed to acquire what good there is to be had in couple counseling and especially, that your kids are the better for it. No child should have to suffer as the result from parent issues.
Thanks again~
Shangrala
