((((((jchryl)))))
I have been in your shoes.. my hubby cheated on me 8 years ago, after being together for 4..
We got past it, but it did get ugly with trust issues, jealousness, etc...
If your relationship is meant to be, you'll get through it.. if it's not.. well, you won't. I really don't have any advice or words of wisdom.. but I've been there. You aren't alone in the way you are feeling, and it's perfectly normal, the way you are feeling. Things sometimes get worse before they get better...
Don't listen to the awful things he says to you.. IMO, they are words of control..
(((HUGE HUGS))) Take care of you.. it will get better, with or without him..
Hang in there..