I didn't find out until after my Mom passed that I had finally gotten something right.

At 83 years old my Mom had lead a very active and adventuresome life. The end came quickly and she died peacefully in her sleep.

I did visit her before she died. I had made a promise to spend a month with her. She knew I was coming but as a surprise I brought my oldest son with me.

As we parked in the drive, Granny comes bouncing out of the house pointing her finger "you can't park here". I got out of the car and she said "Oh, it's you." When my son got out the driver's side she yells "OMG, Grandpa its SC."

(My oldest son had spent almost every summer with his granny and grandpa growing up. So we chatted about old memories, and funny stories during his visit.)

My oldest son and I flew to AZ for her memorial service.

My dad just wanted to get her remains in a box (she was cremated) and be done with it. My sister convinced him to have a short service.

As we all gathered at the car to attend the service my son comes out in his full dress uniform (gold stripes, metals, ribbons and spit polished shoes). He looked at me and quietly said "Granny would have wanted it this way."

It's about 3 weeks since her memorial. In the mail I received a card from the hospice group who cared for my Mom.

In side was a short hand written note --

" We will always remember the sparkle in your mother's eyes when she talked about the surprise visit from her grandson. "

Looks like I finally did something right.
It's a shame she had to die for me to find out.

I was never the smart one, the pretty one, friendly one, talented one, the achiever in my mother's eyes. She could never understand my depression. She couldn't see it therefore it was not there. I won't go so far as to say I wasn't loved. I guess it is more that I never could meet her expatiations.

As for my dad he hardly ever shows any emotion so you never know. But he had saved for over 60 years the first gift he ever gave to my mother. It is a little crate with a peanut inside. On the crate it says "From one nut to another."

Sorry this is so long. I just needed to explain to a friend - "why the tears"

kebs