Alcohol I always figured was a part of life. It was always around. In the house at every celebration, gatherings, funeral even at church. Mom and dad had to down who knows how many drinks every night before supper. Drugs I figured out would give affect I was looking for I just knew that by watching kids who did them. It's weird cuz I remember the warning pamplets they had in school aginst drugs plus the ppl they would have come in and talk about them. Those things always attraked me to them more than detured me from them. Another thing I remember is at a very young age in the middle of the night climbing up the kitchen cabinets to get to the window sill above the sink sneaking swigs of cough medecine and I liked it a lot. Whoa!!! talk about memory geesh!!
I don't know how old you are but not being able to get hammered is not necassarily a good sign. I remember being like that when I was younger and at other points. Come to find out it was because of high tolerance. When you said you don't remember things from the day before, that sounds like a black out. Yep, I remember those days when the effect and the taste were so alive. Have tried to recapture that time and time agin. Thanks for the trigger back to memory lane. Helps me want to stay clean and sober for this day.
lrks